Question from a step parent:
I have recently become a step parent and if I’m honest I am struggling knowing if I am doing the right thing for my step child. They haven’t complained or made any comments about how I am parenting them, but I don’t have any children of my own, so this is all uncharted territory for me. How will I know if I am parenting in the right way?
My advice:
I can understand your concerns but I’m sure if there were any issues your partner or your stepchild would let you know.
Try not to have high expectations of what parent you should be. Allow yourself time to slowly bond and get to know your stepchild and how parenting works.
In my own experiences there is no concrete way of learning how to parent but to do what feels right and learn from any mistakes you make.
I assure you that even the most seasoned parents made many mistakes on their parenting journey.
Dynamics within all families whether a blended family or a biological family change as children get older. Their needs and attitude change with time as do their dependence on you.
Most stepfamilies take 4-7 years to bond and gel into a functional family, so you have plenty of learning time.
Communication is vital with your partner, your children and even join parent support groups where you can discuss your concerns and worries with parents in the same position as you.
Finally, I would suggest giving yourself time and enjoy getting to know your new family and keep expectations low. Keep talking to your partner about any issues you might have, enjoy getting to know your stepchild and take things slowly. I hope this has helped to put you at ease.
